Monday, July 20, 2009

Gift card etiquette... two opposite stories...

Last month, I celebrated my 27th birthday. I was dating Mr. Fix-it and his sister and parents both gave me $20 gift cards. I wrote nice thank you notes and then Mr. Fix-it and I broke up about a week later because we were just too different and the relationship was going nowhere. I saw Mr. Fix-it the other day and he was surprised I did not return the gift cards. Should I have returned the gift cards?

My friends moved up to Maine and I offered to put the stuff that did not fit in the moving truck into my car. I saw them on Friday and we had a lovely day together. They got their stuff and fed me an amazing lunch and dinner. I returned to my parent's house in Maine and saw $50 LL Bean gift card in my e-mail box. This gesture is overly generous. I am going to send a thank you note, but should I also do something like donate money to the new school they are at in their name or should I just appreciate the gesture and order some cool, preppy gear from LL Bean in the fall?

Thanks for your feedback!

11 comments:

Gracie Beth said...

I would simply send them a personalized thank you card, I tend to be the queen of thank you cards in my family.

suburban prep said...

The 20.00 gc was a gift to you. His parents and sister wanted to give that to you at that time. It is yours. It was wrong of him to think that you should return the gc.

As for the LL Bean Gc that is a gift to you for a kindness that you gave to your friends.

Canadian Preppy said...

Sorry to hear that you & mr. fix-it broke up. Wishing you better relationship karma in the future.

Regarding your 2 dilema's, here's my thoughts:

(1) i think you should only return the gift cards if you want to. but you should in no way feel like you have to return them. once a gift is given it is yours to do with what you want.

(2)Wow, that is some nice friends that you have. I don't think you need to given a gift in return. Just remember the nice gesture and sometime in the future when the mood strikes you do something nice for them.

Princess Freckles said...

In my opinion, you should not have returned the gift cards! They were gifts, and he should never have implied that you were in the wrong. In fact, I bet his sister and parents asked him if they should give you a gift and he probably responded with a "yes".

About your LL Bean card, I don't see why you should need to make a donation, but you certainly could. I would maybe see what the others think on that one! :)

Adie said...

The first situation seems silly that he would even assume you would return the gift cards. You broke up a week later, it is not unthinkable that you would have already spent them. I think it would have seemed like a bad gesture to return the gift cards, like you had bad feelings.

The second issue I am not toally sure of but I would say they were just trying to say thank you in a very generous way. Enjoy it and send a nice thank you.

Preppy Sue said...

Good questions...in my opinion you've thanked everyone properly, enjoy your gift cards!

Miss Madras said...

I do not believe you are required to return gift cards. It's not like an engagement ring, which I think is the only gift to be returned if a break up occurs. And your friends may be thinking it's a thank you or helping them move. I would appreciated the gesture and send a thank you.

KK said...

I think for the Bean card, a note is enough seeing as how the gift card was a thank you to begin with. You don't need to keep the thank you circle going.

Re the ex boyfriend....holy rudeness to think that you would return a gift. Um, maybe if it was a family heirloom jewelry piece but not a gift card. That's just tacky on his end. It was a gift. And I am guessing the card didn't read, "happy birthday unless y'all break up in two weeks and then you better return this gift." Go shopping and smile the entire time!!

Kelly said...

Honestly, I think it was audacious for your ex-boyfriend to ask for a gift back from you. He gave that to you as a birthday present, and because you two broke up, he wants to ask for it back? I think that shows a serious lack of tact and taste on his part.

Preppy in Pink said...

Why would you return a gift to celebrate your birthday? You haven't stopped breathing. You shouldn't return a gift unless the reason it was presented failed. For example: You received a wedding gift and didn't have a wedding.
I received a gift back once & It really hurt my feelings. She said that she didn't deserve it, it was too much...but I didn't think so. I appreciated everthing she had done for me and I thought a gift was better than words so I bought it and wrapped it..I put a lot of thought into it and it stung when it was returned.
Your friend must have thought ahead and planned too. I would call or write and say how awsome it was and thank her for thinking of you. :) My Two Cents

Catherine said...

Keep your gift cards and enjoy them! Your ex-boyfriend's family obviously likes you. They wanted to do something nice for you. If you return them, it's almost hurtful. As for your friends, be glad they are so sweet and appreciative! You might be feeling like they went overboard, but they want to nurture your relationship. Lucky you!